Friday, December 08, 2006
The Undeniable Sexiness of Being Human
Lately I've been mentally exploring what I think is one of the most amusing dichotomies. The relation between the amazing sexual force of human-ness and the equally powerful force of archetypal fantasy.
I suspect, and this is entirely guess work as I do not know many people who write about this stuff quite as openly as I do, that many people's sexual fantasies are based on broad generalizations as opposed to extreme specifics. I say that because if your like me, and you like pr0n, then it seems like a very reasonable extension to say that the content is setup to model the fantasy (i.e., it probably isn't a coincidence that hetero web sites have cheerleader sections any more than homo web sites have jock sections).
What I find interesting is that we sort of buy into these fantasies. That is not to say that I am
disagreeing with it in any way shape or form, I am merely asserting I find the somewhat dehumanizing aspect fascinating. I do not want to have sex with the man; I want to have sex with the manifestation of the masculine energies I am attracted to. I do not think of myself as a fetishest per se, mostly because inanimate objects by themselves do not bring me sexual gratification, but I most definitely acknowledge that modifying context or "rising to the occasion" to be someone you are not necessarily (role-playing?) can greatly enhance the overall experience. When I, or anyone I know for that matter, is looking for, or at, sexually explicit material we are not terribly concerned with the universe outside of the immediate visual context. I do not find myself terribly concerned with what the pretending-to-be-18-years-old-captain-of-the-high-school-wrestling-team thinks about economic globalization and how it is disturbing the indigenous peoples of the South Pacific. I am not remotely inquisitive about the sultry stripper's desire to complete her bachelor's degree in electrical engineering while maintaining a self-reinforcing social life. It does not occur to me that an all male swim team that sits around in various sexual configurations in the locker room for hours on end will doubtfully ever compete successfully in inter murals. These are all simply things I do not care about. They do not lend themselves to successful sexual fantasy. These contextual questions that emulate reality seem like they are akin to masturbating to thoughts of your, or any potential, partner saying "I have a headache," or "I'm just not up for it." Totally acceptable in the real world, because that is how life works, but that does not change the fact they are decidedly not arousing
However, there is something overwhelmingly enticing about completely discarding the fantasy elements of a situation and focusing solely on the human qualities. I feel the best examples of this are represented in some very specific movie moments of the last few years. One of my favorites is between Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton in "Code 46". Without giving away the plot, there is a particular scene where Morton's character has essentially been biologically programmed to attempt to run away from Robbins. Her body wants to run, but her mind wants to stay. The conflict is both palpable and visceral. She tells Robbins that he has to make her love him. All of the context leading up to this particular scene (e.g. fights, talks, societal elements, Orwellian future, etc.) make it what I feel is one of the absolute hottest sex scenes ever recorded on film, not even counting the whole "violence and sex are inseparable" argument. The scene includes a lot of moaning, kissing, crying, and an amazing soundtrack. The human emotion is clearly the driving force. Another excellent example comes in the new Bond film. Prior to this movie I would not have said Daniel Craig is a particularly hot man. Attractive, yes; Handsome, yes; outright hot, no. One scene in particular in the movie, involving a shower and all characters fully-clothed under less than ideal circumstances, essentially left me breathless. That was the moment where I would have said "absolutely, yes" to Daniel Craig in my bed. Possibly even eating crackers, though that is difficult to say. Once again, it is the relationships between the characters and their humanity shining through that drives the scene.
So there we have two equal truths on opposite ends of the spectrum. The complete fantasy without context, and the fantasy based entirely upon surrounding context. The second case certainly occurs outside of cinema as well, but film works exceptionally well for illustrating the point. Surely I am not alone in this split. I have been to too many sex shops, porn vendors, and late night coffee shop discussions to not believe that this dualism does not cross the minds of other people. Maybe I am just exceedingly fascinated with the mechanics and logistics of what people like to get off to. Maybe I just really enjoy porn. Who knows? All I know is that I am going to continue with my overly-masculine-frat-boy-jock-type-standing-around-the-locker-room-wearing-football-pads-
and-a-jockstrap-questioning-his-sexuality-and-beating-off fantasy every bit as much as I am going to sit around and be turned on by deeply moving character conflict that drums up from some carefully scripted plot line all to a Hans Zimmer musical score.
I suspect, and this is entirely guess work as I do not know many people who write about this stuff quite as openly as I do, that many people's sexual fantasies are based on broad generalizations as opposed to extreme specifics. I say that because if your like me, and you like pr0n, then it seems like a very reasonable extension to say that the content is setup to model the fantasy (i.e., it probably isn't a coincidence that hetero web sites have cheerleader sections any more than homo web sites have jock sections).
What I find interesting is that we sort of buy into these fantasies. That is not to say that I am
disagreeing with it in any way shape or form, I am merely asserting I find the somewhat dehumanizing aspect fascinating. I do not want to have sex with the man; I want to have sex with the manifestation of the masculine energies I am attracted to. I do not think of myself as a fetishest per se, mostly because inanimate objects by themselves do not bring me sexual gratification, but I most definitely acknowledge that modifying context or "rising to the occasion" to be someone you are not necessarily (role-playing?) can greatly enhance the overall experience. When I, or anyone I know for that matter, is looking for, or at, sexually explicit material we are not terribly concerned with the universe outside of the immediate visual context. I do not find myself terribly concerned with what the pretending-to-be-18-years-old-captain-of-the-high-school-wrestling-team thinks about economic globalization and how it is disturbing the indigenous peoples of the South Pacific. I am not remotely inquisitive about the sultry stripper's desire to complete her bachelor's degree in electrical engineering while maintaining a self-reinforcing social life. It does not occur to me that an all male swim team that sits around in various sexual configurations in the locker room for hours on end will doubtfully ever compete successfully in inter murals. These are all simply things I do not care about. They do not lend themselves to successful sexual fantasy. These contextual questions that emulate reality seem like they are akin to masturbating to thoughts of your, or any potential, partner saying "I have a headache," or "I'm just not up for it." Totally acceptable in the real world, because that is how life works, but that does not change the fact they are decidedly not arousing
However, there is something overwhelmingly enticing about completely discarding the fantasy elements of a situation and focusing solely on the human qualities. I feel the best examples of this are represented in some very specific movie moments of the last few years. One of my favorites is between Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton in "Code 46". Without giving away the plot, there is a particular scene where Morton's character has essentially been biologically programmed to attempt to run away from Robbins. Her body wants to run, but her mind wants to stay. The conflict is both palpable and visceral. She tells Robbins that he has to make her love him. All of the context leading up to this particular scene (e.g. fights, talks, societal elements, Orwellian future, etc.) make it what I feel is one of the absolute hottest sex scenes ever recorded on film, not even counting the whole "violence and sex are inseparable" argument. The scene includes a lot of moaning, kissing, crying, and an amazing soundtrack. The human emotion is clearly the driving force. Another excellent example comes in the new Bond film. Prior to this movie I would not have said Daniel Craig is a particularly hot man. Attractive, yes; Handsome, yes; outright hot, no. One scene in particular in the movie, involving a shower and all characters fully-clothed under less than ideal circumstances, essentially left me breathless. That was the moment where I would have said "absolutely, yes" to Daniel Craig in my bed. Possibly even eating crackers, though that is difficult to say. Once again, it is the relationships between the characters and their humanity shining through that drives the scene.So there we have two equal truths on opposite ends of the spectrum. The complete fantasy without context, and the fantasy based entirely upon surrounding context. The second case certainly occurs outside of cinema as well, but film works exceptionally well for illustrating the point. Surely I am not alone in this split. I have been to too many sex shops, porn vendors, and late night coffee shop discussions to not believe that this dualism does not cross the minds of other people. Maybe I am just exceedingly fascinated with the mechanics and logistics of what people like to get off to. Maybe I just really enjoy porn. Who knows? All I know is that I am going to continue with my overly-masculine-frat-boy-jock-type-standing-around-the-locker-room-wearing-football-pads-
and-a-jockstrap-questioning-his-sexuality-and-beating-off fantasy every bit as much as I am going to sit around and be turned on by deeply moving character conflict that drums up from some carefully scripted plot line all to a Hans Zimmer musical score.
Labels: fantasy, introspection, sex
# posted by Chris/Stewy @ Friday, December 08, 2006 
