Liquid Nonsense

So for three or four weeks now I've been receiving acupuncture treatment for "damp heat in the large intestine." This is not the first time I have received traditional Chinese treatment for something, but it is the first time that the healing has involved my emotional channels. They definitely don't write on the treatment plan: "Warning: this therapy may make you feel like a crazy bitch."

The quick and short of it can be summarized that certain organ systems are responsible for the flow of particular energy (and emotions) through the body. Negative patterns establish and become part of our daily lives. This leads to pathological patterns like damp heat in the large intestine. Removing the negative pattern essentially involves solving the underlying problem. Guess what that involves? Re-harmonizing those energies and pathways so they all work correctly again, even if that means stirring up all the negative forces that started it to begin with.

Two weekends ago I emoted like crazy out of the blue on issues resolving around my sense of success and personal identity. This last weekend I broke down in a fit of hysterics and was crying. Not regular crying, wailing crying. The last time I think I did that was at my grandmothers' funeral, and even that might have been more subdued.

Clearly, I have a very deep seated angst-like feeling about my identity. At this point I know it's wedged squarely between what I thought my life path was, and my sexuality. The life-path one is more of "have I been living a lie for the last several years," and the sexuality is my feeling like I've somehow wasted my life up to the present as a gay man. The latter is the far more terrifying one to me.

All in all I have this overwhelming feeling of isolation right now that's proving difficult to overcome. Feel free to send some positive energy my way over the next few weeks. I desperately need it.

In the meantime: this is me breathing in....this is me breathing out.... repeat.

Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly.

1) I route optimize. Whenever I'm walking or driving somewhere I'm probably sizing up variables like "what's the fastest way to get there," "will the reduced speed of side streets still be more efficient than a possibly traffic laden freeway," or "even though the freeway slightly extends beyond my destination, will the increased speed still result in a shorter arrival time." This is undoubtedly the sort of behavior that got me into computer science.

2) Gummy bears are my Achilles heal. If you put a bag of them in the same room as me and tell me that if I eat them I will be shot in the head, then I'll probably die.

3) I have an overwhelming urge to learn tantra. Spiritual sex is totally my bag. If the path to enlightenment should end up being paved with man-sex, all the better.

4) My dreams are utter nonsense. They have no narrative structure to speak of, feature Escher-like architecture, and are mostly baffling. I am not convinced they mean anything, but I find them fascinating.

5) I sleep next to a pair of nunchucks and/or a 21 inch aerospace steel baton in case somebody decides to start shit in the night.

6) I feel guilty driving a Blazer. It was a combination high school graduation present as well as a "hey, you need something reliable for college and beyond." Somewhere in there I became an organic, pot-smoking hippy and now I feel vaguely hypocritical when I drive around.

7) I play games with my coordination. I weight lift standing on one leg. I'll wait to catch a rapidly closing refrigerator door with my foot at a distance and simultaneously keep two cupboards open. I have 4-point jumping jacks I do that go 1) feet together 2) left foot is forward, right foot is back and arms are parallel to the floor 3) feet come back together and arms are straight up 4) right foot is forward, left foot is backward arms are parallel to ground again 5) feet are back together and arms are down by side. One!

8) I workout a lot. It is not uncommon for me to do two to three yoga sessions a week, at least one extended night at the dojo, and possibly swing by the gym some point on the weekend. Total hours in that: 7.5-8 hours. If I miss workouts I get extremely antsy.

9) Many times I have tried to gain weight, and my times I have failed. My metabolism says I am a muscly well defined ectomorph, but my desires say I should be a hot more-muscly well defined mesomorph.

10) Not completing sentences or trailing off pisses me off like no other. My dad does it habitually. He'll wander into a room and say "You know, earlier I was thinking..." and then he'll walk out of the room and never finish the thought. He will also start talking, leave the room, and not increase the volume so it sounds like he's muttering from down the hall, yet expecting you to listen.

Anyone willing to participate. I think these ones are fun.

Labels: meme

This might just be the single most awesome political response I've ever seen to publicly released homophobic contents. Enjoy.

Labels: video

So, where are you?

Labels: meme

Behold, two artists (I am using the term in a loose sense) with similar names and similar themes. I wouldn't feel right with NOT sharing these with the world. For your consideration: Cazwell and Samwell (Note: not explicit, but most likely not work safe either).





Hoorah.

All I've been blogging about lately has been my house, mostly because it has been this all-consuming aspect of my life. I spent the vast majority of today painting the upstairs of my office/theater room. Thus far, it looks amazing. I have chosen to paint all the walls a color of orange that has previously been used exclusively for gay pride parades, I'm sure. The curious can go here. It's "clay 2," but it's really a weak approximation of the color; the real one is substantially brighter, and richer. Three walls down and one to go.

Other highlights of the last few days include purchasing a new mattress that's supposed to be delivered sometime between Wednesday and Thursday of this coming week, purchasing a new gas range to replace the one I currently have that was manufactured in dickity-2, and additional do-it-yourself-because-it-is-essentially-disposable furniture by Ikea.

Thus far everything is going swimmingly. I will get my camera out of here in the next few days and update the pictures in my gallery to reflect where we're at now. Special thanks go out to Phil for helping me with stuff around the house, and for telling me about the joy that is Secret Agent on SomaFM. Soma has been providing not only the soundtrack for my life as a secret agent, but the soundtrack for painting this damned room.

Labels: house

I'm sorry I've been so unbelievably negligent with updates recently. If I am not at work, then I'm attempting to impose some semblance of order on my new house. Regardless, I've gone to sleep absolutely exhausted every night for the last week. Some preliminary pictures will very likely come this weekend.

Last week I was doing my finest impression of a human petri dish. Sometime over the previous weekend I managed to pick up a sinus infection that thought I had nothing better to do with my time than produce mucus. Needless to say, last week was fairly miserable for me in between the times I was blowing my nose. Sometime on Sunday it started to substantially subside, so last night I went to Bikram yoga to finish burning out the remainder. Today I haven't felt any symptoms at all. Hooray!

Speaking of hooray, my home closed today and I now officially own a little piece of property on the Tempe/Guadalupe/Chandler/Ahwatukee border. Today after work I am going to swing by the Best Buy down the street and pick up a cable modem so I can haul my laptop down there and see if Internet is turned on. Yes, I'm aware of my addictions, thank you.

Does anyone know of a good carpet installer here in the valley? The previous owner of my home had one or two rather large dogs and did a crap-tastic job of changing out his air filters, ergo the carpet in the house is somewhat filthy. I could clean it, which only does a minor job of removing "dog," or I could simply replace it. I'm leaning towards replacing it, but I need a guy to do the square footage estimate so I can order carpet from the mill. Suggestions for the Phoenix area are being gladly accepted right now.

I have finally decided that I am going to get a subwoofer for my stereo. I have actually known which one I've wanted for a while, but now I have the financial resources to do it. There's a British brand named Rel that produces absolutely stunning acoustic subwoofers for musical reproduction. A chunk of this week's paycheck and some of my spare assets shall contribute and hopefully I can get one in the next week or so. They are stellar to say the least and it's the last major component I need. Bye bye my small, tiny, little Polk woofer; hello big, mean, bowel moving Rel.

Additional usage of a subwoofer? Phil has suggested movie night at the Chandler Citadel (I can't call it the "compound," as my current tiny little backyard hut is the "compound"). Copenhagen has a decent sized couch that I really liked that could feasibly sit about 5 people. Take that and add my desk chair and I could probably comfortably sit six people. I could even get some super comfy pillows and other people could hang out on the floor. I think Phil might be on to something here. Plus it gives me a tiny bit more excuse to get the previously mentioned Rel... can't have people over to watch a movie and then have "polite" bass.

Aside from house, the only other thing on my mind lately has been sex. My hormones for the last week have kept me sufficiently sex, err, distracted from some of the other stuff I probably should be accomplishing. Thank you Internet and your wonderful pornographic bounty too.

A slight tangent away, I want to order some more cute underwear. Several years ago I think I was as mystified as the rest of the population as to why women love Victoria's Secret so much. Cute underwear are awesome. To the men reading this: go get yourself a pair of Aussiebums or Ginch Gonch. Ultra-comfy and sexy at the same time. Your significant other will thank me.

Peace out yo!

Labels: health, house, stereo

I just received notification that my house closed. I'm now a legal and official homo-ner. w00t!

I'll post something more meaningful later in the day with updates with all the hoo-haa going on lately.

Labels: house

I would just like to say that the wonderful people over at Dark Horse comics are godless whores. Why? Because a certain someone who shall remain nameless (me), has chosen to purchase all the available English copies of the manga version of Trigun (11 books). The same individual has read through them over the last several nights and has just reached the end of the eleventh book. Why am I so angry? Because there's a mother-fucking 12th book that concludes the series that they have yet to publish! Going by their website they release one about once every 2.5-3 months and the last one was apparently just released several weeks ago. Great, just great. I'm not even going to comment on how much of a cliffhanger 11 leaves off on or that I'm possibly going to pee blood waiting for the last, and conclusive, book.

This is undoubtedly karma for something I have done.