Friday, March 24, 2006
Random Interlude
Does anyone else out there, other than me, think that the new foam based soap we're seeing more frequently in public bathrooms looks dangerously like vaginal contraceptive??
Every time I see it that's about all I can think of.
Every time I see it that's about all I can think of.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Cogito Ergo Game
The greatest era of video gaming, at least to me, existed roughly between the years 1991 and 1997. This is the era that I look back upon with the highest regard. My memories of elementary and middle school are not filled with memories of school itself, but rather gaming with my friends. I distinctly remember 3rd grade as the year when I played the Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past. I remember 6th grade sharply as the year I spent playing Final Fantasy VI (American 3) to no end. The list could go on forever as far as I'm concerned.
Not only were these the years of some of the greatest RPGs ever, but they were the years when the RPG was still fleshing itself out. I tend to believe that the beginning of an era is frequently it's best, especially for video games, because that is the time before preconceptions have set it. It's before the marketing people have had a chance to take over and rape something. It's before we the gamers have a preconception of what "good" play is supposed to be. Wolfenstein 3d nearly single handedly created the first person shooter. This seems like an obvious paradigm now, but it was a monumental stride at the time.
Today, nearly all RPGs are somehow gauged off of the Final Fantasy franchise. I think FF is so wonderful because just about every game manages to beat out the ones that came before it in some way or another. Each one feels like it signals a new mini-era of gaming because everyone for the two years following it says "Well, it isn't quite like the new final fantasy" when talking about other RPGs.
I don't really long for another game to play anymore as much as I long for that feeling I had when I used to play them. Saturday afternoon with nothing else to do but level my characters up so I can beat the living shit out of the dragon living on the mountain, only to discover that the dragon did all that evil stuff just to save its children. Or some such. Those were definitely the days.
This definitely shouldn't be interpreted as a complaint though. The years following 1997 have seen many spectacular games as well. Some of my favorites include all the Final Fantasy games, Xenosaga, Chrono Cross, Shadow Hearts, Vagrant Story, Kingdom Hearts, Star Ocean, and a few others.
If I could compress the entire history of philosophy across my own lifetime, then 1991-1997 would have been the romantic era. The era when emotion and art ruled supreme.
Not only were these the years of some of the greatest RPGs ever, but they were the years when the RPG was still fleshing itself out. I tend to believe that the beginning of an era is frequently it's best, especially for video games, because that is the time before preconceptions have set it. It's before the marketing people have had a chance to take over and rape something. It's before we the gamers have a preconception of what "good" play is supposed to be. Wolfenstein 3d nearly single handedly created the first person shooter. This seems like an obvious paradigm now, but it was a monumental stride at the time.
Today, nearly all RPGs are somehow gauged off of the Final Fantasy franchise. I think FF is so wonderful because just about every game manages to beat out the ones that came before it in some way or another. Each one feels like it signals a new mini-era of gaming because everyone for the two years following it says "Well, it isn't quite like the new final fantasy" when talking about other RPGs.
I don't really long for another game to play anymore as much as I long for that feeling I had when I used to play them. Saturday afternoon with nothing else to do but level my characters up so I can beat the living shit out of the dragon living on the mountain, only to discover that the dragon did all that evil stuff just to save its children. Or some such. Those were definitely the days.
This definitely shouldn't be interpreted as a complaint though. The years following 1997 have seen many spectacular games as well. Some of my favorites include all the Final Fantasy games, Xenosaga, Chrono Cross, Shadow Hearts, Vagrant Story, Kingdom Hearts, Star Ocean, and a few others.
If I could compress the entire history of philosophy across my own lifetime, then 1991-1997 would have been the romantic era. The era when emotion and art ruled supreme.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Gallery!
I'm going to try and find a domain name for my gallery. Until then you'll just have to access it via IP address. As always, comments are appreciated. My only request is that you don't attempt to download the "original" image. They are massive (as in 40+ meg uncompressed, but processed RAW data TIFF files).
http://68.108.208.187:5555/gallery2/
http://68.108.208.187:5555/gallery2/
Guitar Hero
I am going to start this off by saying that I am a total junky for the rhythm games. Years ago when I worked at GameStop we had a demo of Frequency playing on a PS2. I remember walking in front of it a bunch of times and just thinking "wow, I can't believe anyone would want to play something so simple." Then, I made the unfortunate mistake of picking it up and playing it. Needless to say, after beating that game on Expert mode, and many weeks of absurd effort, I finally put it down.
Then they released it's successor amplitude. Aplitude was great too, but remarkably like the first.
Then...there was Guitar Hero. The game is super awesome, and well worth playing. My particular favorite thing about this is that you actually have to use their pseudo-guitar to play it. I love walking into a Best Buy or somewhere where it's playing and watch people look at it in an interested sense...but look really self consciouss picking it up. It's like an air guitar fantasy coming to life. Sort of.
I've had it for a few weeks now, but I haven't had tons of time to play. Last night I caught up with Heidi, Justin, and Jeanette for a little while and we had a glorious time playing it. It just reminds me how much I love these games. Ahhh.
Then they released it's successor amplitude. Aplitude was great too, but remarkably like the first.
Then...there was Guitar Hero. The game is super awesome, and well worth playing. My particular favorite thing about this is that you actually have to use their pseudo-guitar to play it. I love walking into a Best Buy or somewhere where it's playing and watch people look at it in an interested sense...but look really self consciouss picking it up. It's like an air guitar fantasy coming to life. Sort of.
I've had it for a few weeks now, but I haven't had tons of time to play. Last night I caught up with Heidi, Justin, and Jeanette for a little while and we had a glorious time playing it. It just reminds me how much I love these games. Ahhh.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Too...much...chi
I need to burn off some serious energy. As I type this I notice my hands are still deep red. I can always tell when I've been spending just a little too much time in my head 'cause it starts manifesting in other areas.
When I'm really thinking on things through the day or just letting my mind churn I start building up chi. Maybe it's the pace of the breathing I subconsciously fall back to when I'm meditating that's snuck it's way into my day to day life. Maybe it's a lot of things. Who knows. Either way, tonight's workout at the studio was pretty intense. I know I'm not sloppy, and I know I have good control....but, my shots were landing hard. Over time you stop realizing just how much difference your breathing and precision make in simple striking.
One of the other guys I usually work with and I were practicing with some foam padded clubs and I went in for the block at well less than half power. It's an exercise, not a death threat. He dropped the club from the impact on his forearm and just sort of went limp. Normally it just stops the arm, a little "zing" and it tingles, a good "pow" and it makes a sound. After that we were working on something else and I love tapped him on the back with my elbow and almost dropped him. I felt pretty bad afterward 'cause I know I'm not hitting that hard, but it's still painful.
Later on I was working with a different guy closer to my rank. We were half-speed sparring (so, no gloves) and he got whammed with the ridge of my hand in the chin. He wasn't bleeding but it definitely impacted him mentally. You can always tell when someone get's tagged in sparring a little harder than they like, 'cause they start being a little less aggressive. Shortly thereafter we were working on general technique and he caught the knife end of my hand to the side of the neck and was seeing stars. Had to take a momentary break so he could regain composure.
On one hand it feels good to know that years of effort have paid off because the damage-causing ability is apparent. On the other it kind of sucks that my friends are getting first-hand knowledge of why we breathe and meditate. I need to get back to my tai chi and chi gong exercises.
When I'm really thinking on things through the day or just letting my mind churn I start building up chi. Maybe it's the pace of the breathing I subconsciously fall back to when I'm meditating that's snuck it's way into my day to day life. Maybe it's a lot of things. Who knows. Either way, tonight's workout at the studio was pretty intense. I know I'm not sloppy, and I know I have good control....but, my shots were landing hard. Over time you stop realizing just how much difference your breathing and precision make in simple striking.
One of the other guys I usually work with and I were practicing with some foam padded clubs and I went in for the block at well less than half power. It's an exercise, not a death threat. He dropped the club from the impact on his forearm and just sort of went limp. Normally it just stops the arm, a little "zing" and it tingles, a good "pow" and it makes a sound. After that we were working on something else and I love tapped him on the back with my elbow and almost dropped him. I felt pretty bad afterward 'cause I know I'm not hitting that hard, but it's still painful.
Later on I was working with a different guy closer to my rank. We were half-speed sparring (so, no gloves) and he got whammed with the ridge of my hand in the chin. He wasn't bleeding but it definitely impacted him mentally. You can always tell when someone get's tagged in sparring a little harder than they like, 'cause they start being a little less aggressive. Shortly thereafter we were working on general technique and he caught the knife end of my hand to the side of the neck and was seeing stars. Had to take a momentary break so he could regain composure.
On one hand it feels good to know that years of effort have paid off because the damage-causing ability is apparent. On the other it kind of sucks that my friends are getting first-hand knowledge of why we breathe and meditate. I need to get back to my tai chi and chi gong exercises.
Then again??
Periodically I'm forced to sort of back peddle and completely admit that I took a thought in the wrong direction. I'm going to retract a significant amount of my previous post on my intellectual curiosity of poly-type relationships.
Earlier today I managed to track down a copy of The Ethical Slut and I've spent a good portion of the day reading through it. When I'm playing with a new idea or just exploring it for argument's sake I just want to dive in. Now that I'm slightly over 200 pages in I'm willing to really alter my previous statements. Not necessarily because I've learned a substantial amount, but rather because I've had it contextualized into something I can synthesize much easier. I know myself well enough to that when something sounds strange or foreign, I probably just don't know enough about it or I lack sufficient language to think about it properly.
Some of the major key points I'm currently rolling around with:
1) Incorrectly identifying jeolous responses. It wasn't until I saw these words in print that it really made sense. I don't really experience jealousy. At least now I'm willing to say that. What I do experience is envy, and that's easily mislabeled. I think I would be more concerned that my primary significant other and someone else had something that I couldn't offer. The taoist part of my brain knows this is silly. While anything is imperfect, it is perfectly itself. This would be a situation of me acknowledging the perfection of something being itself. Nothing more, and nothing less.
2) Boundaries and exploration. A small part of an interview between two committed, yet open offered this:
"Now we're trying to figure out what we're comfortable doing with other people, and what we want to reserve for our own relationship. Sometimes, the only way to locate the boundary of our comfort zone is to cross it and feel the discomfort."
I definitely believe that discomfort is the first stage toward growth. I also, for whatever stupid reason, didn't really consider how *necessary* it is to form these boundaries in existing relationships.
3) A definite realization of fear. To quote the book again:
"...it is true that sometimes an outside relationship will threaten to become primary and supplant the existing partner, and when this happens everyone involved will feel horrible, particularly the person who may lose his partnership. Especially when that person has struggled to own their jealousy, and worked hard on his fears of abandonment, only to find himself actually abandoned and left out in the cold."
This is a real fear. Not an active one, but a present one. This same threat exists under all circumstances though. Clearly not a fault of polyamory, though it would seem to have a higher probability of happening.
These three points taken together spell out the justifications in my previous entry. I wouldn't want to be in an envious situation that could have been prevented by placing boundaries to preserve the part of the primary relationship because I'm acting on my fears.
The book's point seems quite clear in taking care of yourself. If asking myself "What do I need?" I think I could honestly say it's affirmation. With some simple boundaries and affirmation that I truly was important ('cause everyone likes to be loved, and especially to hear it) I think it could be a marvelous situation.
Now I think I understand my 77%. I just needed a framework to organize my thoughts. Funny that.
(All quotes taken from: Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt; "The Ethical Slut"; Greenery Press, 1997. All rights reserved, da da da).
Earlier today I managed to track down a copy of The Ethical Slut and I've spent a good portion of the day reading through it. When I'm playing with a new idea or just exploring it for argument's sake I just want to dive in. Now that I'm slightly over 200 pages in I'm willing to really alter my previous statements. Not necessarily because I've learned a substantial amount, but rather because I've had it contextualized into something I can synthesize much easier. I know myself well enough to that when something sounds strange or foreign, I probably just don't know enough about it or I lack sufficient language to think about it properly.
Some of the major key points I'm currently rolling around with:
1) Incorrectly identifying jeolous responses. It wasn't until I saw these words in print that it really made sense. I don't really experience jealousy. At least now I'm willing to say that. What I do experience is envy, and that's easily mislabeled. I think I would be more concerned that my primary significant other and someone else had something that I couldn't offer. The taoist part of my brain knows this is silly. While anything is imperfect, it is perfectly itself. This would be a situation of me acknowledging the perfection of something being itself. Nothing more, and nothing less.
2) Boundaries and exploration. A small part of an interview between two committed, yet open offered this:
"Now we're trying to figure out what we're comfortable doing with other people, and what we want to reserve for our own relationship. Sometimes, the only way to locate the boundary of our comfort zone is to cross it and feel the discomfort."
I definitely believe that discomfort is the first stage toward growth. I also, for whatever stupid reason, didn't really consider how *necessary* it is to form these boundaries in existing relationships.
3) A definite realization of fear. To quote the book again:
"...it is true that sometimes an outside relationship will threaten to become primary and supplant the existing partner, and when this happens everyone involved will feel horrible, particularly the person who may lose his partnership. Especially when that person has struggled to own their jealousy, and worked hard on his fears of abandonment, only to find himself actually abandoned and left out in the cold."
This is a real fear. Not an active one, but a present one. This same threat exists under all circumstances though. Clearly not a fault of polyamory, though it would seem to have a higher probability of happening.
These three points taken together spell out the justifications in my previous entry. I wouldn't want to be in an envious situation that could have been prevented by placing boundaries to preserve the part of the primary relationship because I'm acting on my fears.
The book's point seems quite clear in taking care of yourself. If asking myself "What do I need?" I think I could honestly say it's affirmation. With some simple boundaries and affirmation that I truly was important ('cause everyone likes to be loved, and especially to hear it) I think it could be a marvelous situation.
Now I think I understand my 77%. I just needed a framework to organize my thoughts. Funny that.
(All quotes taken from: Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt; "The Ethical Slut"; Greenery Press, 1997. All rights reserved, da da da).
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
So much going on
Life has been really good these last couple weeks. Work has been fairly interesting, albeit taxing. My one physics class is semi-interesting at times, but overall I'd be much happier not taking it. Serves me right I suppose for putting off a 100 level course for nearly 4 years.
I suppose there's been a lot on my mind lately. Not in a bad way, but more of a "huh, I guess I never really thought about it," way. For instance, Phil and I had an interesting conversation the other night on the notion of polyamory. It's been one of those fringe things I had thought about before but not one of those things I had *really* thought about. According to OkCupid (you can stop laughing now):
I find this result to be rather interesting, but more or less accurate. I suppose I could be classified as "polycurious," but for the time being I suspect that curiosity ends at the intellectual level.
Open relationships? That I could handle. The idea of having multiple sexual partners but a single committed boyfriend is largely appealing to me. I'm still growing on the sexual landscape and figuring out a lot of boundaries and what I really like. College saw some exploration, but most of it was relatively benign I think. Having an emotional investment in one individual- a single guy to sleep with at night and to wake up with the same man would be great. Other times, open to experiment and try different things with different men. Some people have a myriad of sexual interests and I think that's awesome. Not to mention the possibility of threesomes, foursomes, n-somes(?).
Polyamory? I'm not so sure. Knowing my emotional state of being, this would probably be very difficult for me to maintain. By extension, this is really just the previous situation with emotional interests. What makes this so different? For consistency's sake it would almost seem silly to not have a problem with a signifcant other having extra-relational sex and then to have a problem with emotional commitments to these people. This isn't a motivation of jealousy, at least I don't think so. I think this is probably more of simply not wanting to share the title of "boyfriend" (if such a term is even still applicable). Does that even make sense?
I'm willing to bet this is strongly connected to my personality. I have a tendency to extend myself to great lengths for those important to me. Truth be told, I have a fierce sense of territorialism. Not in a possessive sense, but in a protective one. If this life were nothing but a fantasy novel, I would not be the king, I wouldn't even be a public facing figure. I would be the defender of the faith. I would be the king's retainer; I would be the knight charged the a purpose to protect the sovereignty. When it comes to making emotional commitments to others in a deeply intimate sense, I think I would feel largely divided. If I am filled with X units of love, I feel like I'd be giving X/n of them to any single individual rather than experiencing nX all around (hooray for symbolic logic!). When the war breaks out, I'll be by my king's side so I can do my job.
However, from the other angle, perhaps life could be more like Robert Heinlein described in "The moon is a harsh mistress." A society largely male centric practicing polygamy with the authority largely entrusted to the women. The story paints a beautiful world emerged out of a harsh prison-like setting that truly works. Reading that book was probably the first time I ever really thought about polyamory because all the characters are real enough, and likeable enough, that it just worked.
This ramble session of mine though doesn't really do the subject that much justice. Too many variants of the same idea exist to really treat each one individually. If I were consider those that I've heard of though, the "primary/secondary" model I think would be the only one I could succeed at. I'm still not *really* sure if I could handle my boyfriend actively being in another relationship simultaneously, but knowing that I was his primary, knowing I came first, I think I could manage.
Of course, this is ALL theoretical and the open model is definitely the most comforting. I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down to look back over later. Comments from friends would be appreciated, especially if first hand accounts are available.
I suppose there's been a lot on my mind lately. Not in a bad way, but more of a "huh, I guess I never really thought about it," way. For instance, Phil and I had an interesting conversation the other night on the notion of polyamory. It's been one of those fringe things I had thought about before but not one of those things I had *really* thought about. According to OkCupid (you can stop laughing now):
| Poly Curious Congratulations! You scored 77% Polyamorous! |
You might be poly curious, if there is such a thing. Bet you didn't think that could be the case! Either way, you might want to do a little more soul searching before jumping headlong into a serious poly relationship. If you're in one already, then you might be making good headway. Don't forget to have time for yourself now and then, and especially don't forget to sit down with your partners for a good chat now and then! You'll thank yourself later! |
 |
My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
|
| Link: The Are you Polyamorous Test written by dieppe on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
I find this result to be rather interesting, but more or less accurate. I suppose I could be classified as "polycurious," but for the time being I suspect that curiosity ends at the intellectual level.
Open relationships? That I could handle. The idea of having multiple sexual partners but a single committed boyfriend is largely appealing to me. I'm still growing on the sexual landscape and figuring out a lot of boundaries and what I really like. College saw some exploration, but most of it was relatively benign I think. Having an emotional investment in one individual- a single guy to sleep with at night and to wake up with the same man would be great. Other times, open to experiment and try different things with different men. Some people have a myriad of sexual interests and I think that's awesome. Not to mention the possibility of threesomes, foursomes, n-somes(?).
Polyamory? I'm not so sure. Knowing my emotional state of being, this would probably be very difficult for me to maintain. By extension, this is really just the previous situation with emotional interests. What makes this so different? For consistency's sake it would almost seem silly to not have a problem with a signifcant other having extra-relational sex and then to have a problem with emotional commitments to these people. This isn't a motivation of jealousy, at least I don't think so. I think this is probably more of simply not wanting to share the title of "boyfriend" (if such a term is even still applicable). Does that even make sense?
I'm willing to bet this is strongly connected to my personality. I have a tendency to extend myself to great lengths for those important to me. Truth be told, I have a fierce sense of territorialism. Not in a possessive sense, but in a protective one. If this life were nothing but a fantasy novel, I would not be the king, I wouldn't even be a public facing figure. I would be the defender of the faith. I would be the king's retainer; I would be the knight charged the a purpose to protect the sovereignty. When it comes to making emotional commitments to others in a deeply intimate sense, I think I would feel largely divided. If I am filled with X units of love, I feel like I'd be giving X/n of them to any single individual rather than experiencing nX all around (hooray for symbolic logic!). When the war breaks out, I'll be by my king's side so I can do my job.
However, from the other angle, perhaps life could be more like Robert Heinlein described in "The moon is a harsh mistress." A society largely male centric practicing polygamy with the authority largely entrusted to the women. The story paints a beautiful world emerged out of a harsh prison-like setting that truly works. Reading that book was probably the first time I ever really thought about polyamory because all the characters are real enough, and likeable enough, that it just worked.
This ramble session of mine though doesn't really do the subject that much justice. Too many variants of the same idea exist to really treat each one individually. If I were consider those that I've heard of though, the "primary/secondary" model I think would be the only one I could succeed at. I'm still not *really* sure if I could handle my boyfriend actively being in another relationship simultaneously, but knowing that I was his primary, knowing I came first, I think I could manage.
Of course, this is ALL theoretical and the open model is definitely the most comforting. I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down to look back over later. Comments from friends would be appreciated, especially if first hand accounts are available.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Amusements at work
Simon and I have become exceptional at burning time, especially at work. I'm not going to mention how long, or even why, we go back and forth like this for as long we do...but, we do. I'm glad we're paid as much as we are and in charge of important things. It makes me happy.
(16:19:56) me: hamwallet
(16:20:06) Simon: slip doodle
(16:20:16) me: pork steeple
(16:20:47) Simon: pursian opressor
(16:21:01) me: cosmonaut satellite
(16:21:38) Simon: clautraphobic weasle
(16:22:39) me: soggy thermometer
(16:24:23) Simon: coronal clink
(16:24:40) me: spastic widget
(16:25:03) Simon: practical platipus
(16:25:22) me: reinforced monkey fizz
(16:25:39) Simon: coagulated blender doodle
(16:26:28) me: Africanized oven mitt
(16:28:09) Simon: capitulating cucumber
(16:29:03) me: desalinated saltine spritzer
(16:30:06) Simon: crusty surf tumor
(16:30:55) me: geriatric mango grinder
(16:31:34) Simon: gestating Jeronimo comquat
(16:32:03) me: igloo Spackle dispenser
(16:34:07) Simon: effectionate gariff postings
(16:34:35) me: rectal muffin accelerator
(16:34:59) Simon: nipple Nurf burgler
(16:35:35) me: hallucinating brick shuffler
(16:36:22) Simon: claustraphobic bush wrangler
(16:36:42) me: hypersensitive sock puppet
(16:39:53) Simon: pristine sphincter cushion
(17:18:47) Simon: Pandering Flapjacks of Odin
(17:19:33) me: leaping mosquito seed
(17:20:30) Simon: meandering wisconsin whaledumps
(17:21:11) me: auto-erotic shell crimper
(17:21:30) Simon: autoimmune whisker cleanser
(17:22:01) me: deflated microphone impaler
(17:22:17) Simon: olive whisky dispencer
(17:22:43) Simon: (playing this game I realize I suck at spelling)
(17:22:48) me: lemon scented lawnmower
(17:23:11) Simon: Cresent gnome cruncher
(17:23:54) me: pink desiccated defibrillator
(17:25:46) Simon: ringtoss monkey spittle
(17:25:49) me: (playing this game makes me happy I have a built in, in-line spell checker)
(17:26:14) me: horseshoe catching lapdance
(17:26:42) Simon: caching parrot prankster
(17:27:04) me: greek sandwich whisker
(17:28:27) Simon: Wrinkled Austrian hamburger
(17:28:57) me: Lycra wrapped beehive
(17:29:15) Simon: bamboozled pope pinchings
(17:29:44) me: hornswaggled leopard cheezit
(17:30:10) Simon: crispy crocodile lighsocket
(16:19:56) me: hamwallet
(16:20:06) Simon: slip doodle
(16:20:16) me: pork steeple
(16:20:47) Simon: pursian opressor
(16:21:01) me: cosmonaut satellite
(16:21:38) Simon: clautraphobic weasle
(16:22:39) me: soggy thermometer
(16:24:23) Simon: coronal clink
(16:24:40) me: spastic widget
(16:25:03) Simon: practical platipus
(16:25:22) me: reinforced monkey fizz
(16:25:39) Simon: coagulated blender doodle
(16:26:28) me: Africanized oven mitt
(16:28:09) Simon: capitulating cucumber
(16:29:03) me: desalinated saltine spritzer
(16:30:06) Simon: crusty surf tumor
(16:30:55) me: geriatric mango grinder
(16:31:34) Simon: gestating Jeronimo comquat
(16:32:03) me: igloo Spackle dispenser
(16:34:07) Simon: effectionate gariff postings
(16:34:35) me: rectal muffin accelerator
(16:34:59) Simon: nipple Nurf burgler
(16:35:35) me: hallucinating brick shuffler
(16:36:22) Simon: claustraphobic bush wrangler
(16:36:42) me: hypersensitive sock puppet
(16:39:53) Simon: pristine sphincter cushion
(17:18:47) Simon: Pandering Flapjacks of Odin
(17:19:33) me: leaping mosquito seed
(17:20:30) Simon: meandering wisconsin whaledumps
(17:21:11) me: auto-erotic shell crimper
(17:21:30) Simon: autoimmune whisker cleanser
(17:22:01) me: deflated microphone impaler
(17:22:17) Simon: olive whisky dispencer
(17:22:43) Simon: (playing this game I realize I suck at spelling)
(17:22:48) me: lemon scented lawnmower
(17:23:11) Simon: Cresent gnome cruncher
(17:23:54) me: pink desiccated defibrillator
(17:25:46) Simon: ringtoss monkey spittle
(17:25:49) me: (playing this game makes me happy I have a built in, in-line spell checker)
(17:26:14) me: horseshoe catching lapdance
(17:26:42) Simon: caching parrot prankster
(17:27:04) me: greek sandwich whisker
(17:28:27) Simon: Wrinkled Austrian hamburger
(17:28:57) me: Lycra wrapped beehive
(17:29:15) Simon: bamboozled pope pinchings
(17:29:44) me: hornswaggled leopard cheezit
(17:30:10) Simon: crispy crocodile lighsocket
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Status Update
Does anyone still read this?? I removed the counter mostly because I forgot to save the HTML for it when I updated the theme. Anyway, feedback in the form of comments would be appreciated!
It's been a while ride these last couple of days letting dust settle and figuring things out. First and foremost, I have been unofficially rejected from CMU.
I guess I'm not overly surprised about this, only because I had always kept the possibility in the back of my mind. Discussing the matter with a few other people that are in the same boat (superb recommendations, histories of publications as undergrads, basically overall killer app) from other parts of the world has been "enlightening." If I understand the perspective correctly, it's almost that we've done a little too much. Very frequently very qualified students are rejected simply because they've come a little too far and probably wouldn't be a good "fit" with the department culture that they're trying to maintain. While I think that is largely bullshit, I can also understand it. I can handle rejection based on the grounds of "not a good fit," but it just sounds stupid.
Either way though I may still have many thousands of dollars in the form of an NSF grant. I won't find out about that status of that until the end of March most likely. That would be really ironic if I had an NSF fellowship and no immediate university to utilize it at. C'est la vie.
If I get the fellowship I'll probably just start doing some of the grad work here at ASU. I more or less have an open ticket to the majority of the campus and especially within the CS department. I want to make this an opportunity to branch out into something new, possibly try something different out that I hadn't really considered before. There's a new associate professor with the department that is also working in conjunction with the institute for human evolution that researches socio-economic modeling in computational scenarios. I want to see if he's taking on students...
What shocks me the most about all of this is how little upset I really am. I think I got a little too swept up in the idea that I needed to be somewhere else (particularly CMU) and stopped paying attention to everything I have going on here. For all I know this could be the best thing that ever happened to me.
I have a good job, I'm going to be spending two weeks this summer in mainland China, open ticket at ASU's computer science department, seeing a damn terrific guy. Life is good, yeah?
This really reminds me a story one of my martial arts instructors had written somewhere a long time ago:
---
Once upon a time there lived a man in a village in the mountains along the China-Mongol border. He lived happily with his wife and son on a small farm. One day their only horse got loose and ran away. The villagers all said "Oh my, what a tragedy. Your loss is terrible."
To which the kindly man replied "Perhaps this is really a blessing in disguise."
The next year the horse returned, except it had found a mate. The horse's mate was a horse fine enough for the emperor himself. The villagers all proclaimed "What astonishing luck!"
To which the kindly old man replied "Perhaps this is really a disaster in disguise."
Several weeks later the man's son attempted riding the new horse, and was flung off breaking his hip. Once again, the villagers proclaimed their sorrow for the man and once again he said it was probably a blessing in disguise.
The following month there was a mongol invasion to the north and all able-bodied young men in the village were conscripted except for the boy with a broken hip.
Everyone who went to join the army was killed in combat without exception.
Good and bad are often only perspectives, and without time, lack context. Write that down.
It's been a while ride these last couple of days letting dust settle and figuring things out. First and foremost, I have been unofficially rejected from CMU.
I guess I'm not overly surprised about this, only because I had always kept the possibility in the back of my mind. Discussing the matter with a few other people that are in the same boat (superb recommendations, histories of publications as undergrads, basically overall killer app) from other parts of the world has been "enlightening." If I understand the perspective correctly, it's almost that we've done a little too much. Very frequently very qualified students are rejected simply because they've come a little too far and probably wouldn't be a good "fit" with the department culture that they're trying to maintain. While I think that is largely bullshit, I can also understand it. I can handle rejection based on the grounds of "not a good fit," but it just sounds stupid.
Either way though I may still have many thousands of dollars in the form of an NSF grant. I won't find out about that status of that until the end of March most likely. That would be really ironic if I had an NSF fellowship and no immediate university to utilize it at. C'est la vie.
If I get the fellowship I'll probably just start doing some of the grad work here at ASU. I more or less have an open ticket to the majority of the campus and especially within the CS department. I want to make this an opportunity to branch out into something new, possibly try something different out that I hadn't really considered before. There's a new associate professor with the department that is also working in conjunction with the institute for human evolution that researches socio-economic modeling in computational scenarios. I want to see if he's taking on students...
What shocks me the most about all of this is how little upset I really am. I think I got a little too swept up in the idea that I needed to be somewhere else (particularly CMU) and stopped paying attention to everything I have going on here. For all I know this could be the best thing that ever happened to me.
I have a good job, I'm going to be spending two weeks this summer in mainland China, open ticket at ASU's computer science department, seeing a damn terrific guy. Life is good, yeah?
This really reminds me a story one of my martial arts instructors had written somewhere a long time ago:
---
Once upon a time there lived a man in a village in the mountains along the China-Mongol border. He lived happily with his wife and son on a small farm. One day their only horse got loose and ran away. The villagers all said "Oh my, what a tragedy. Your loss is terrible."
To which the kindly man replied "Perhaps this is really a blessing in disguise."
The next year the horse returned, except it had found a mate. The horse's mate was a horse fine enough for the emperor himself. The villagers all proclaimed "What astonishing luck!"
To which the kindly old man replied "Perhaps this is really a disaster in disguise."
Several weeks later the man's son attempted riding the new horse, and was flung off breaking his hip. Once again, the villagers proclaimed their sorrow for the man and once again he said it was probably a blessing in disguise.
The following month there was a mongol invasion to the north and all able-bodied young men in the village were conscripted except for the boy with a broken hip.
Everyone who went to join the army was killed in combat without exception.
Good and bad are often only perspectives, and without time, lack context. Write that down.
