Liquid Nonsense

My job is poisoning my soul. Earlier today was the final proof of that. Long story short, I feel like I had a momentary emotional collapse on Phil that I would not have had under most normal circumstances.

After I had my sense of equilibrium restored I thought about what we had said and where I went nuts. I clearly hate my job and it's translated into me placing a somewhat unhealthy amount of my sense of happiness onto the relationship itself. I've been using my personal life to make up for the short-comings in my day-to-day work life.

I'm reasonably sure the root of my turmoil is in the fact that the company that I've entered into discussions with would require me to relocate for a while. So far I've been told it's three months with the option of commuting back on some of the weekends. Since my current employer is sucking my will to live slowly out through my anus, I have an aversion to leaving the comfort of my accessible boyfriend. I'm just going to say that some hugs have prevented certain people from taking a nine-iron to the throat.

Tonight I have taken the first major steps to doing whatever I need to do to get my work/school life thoroughly straightened out. I need a new job and all the corresponding paperwork is now in motion.

I still don't like the idea of not having Phil around quite so much, but I know it's only three months. I can definitely manage three months. I figure my relationships work roughly the same way I play Texas Hold em. I either fold early, or I go all in and see what happens with the cards on the table. I don't have to say that I've already gone all-in this time, but I know regardless I made the right choice. Now just to harmonize work and home. Then I'll be set.