Liquid Nonsense

I love the arts, especially the martial ones. Years ago I remember when I was first signing up and they were touting all the benefits that they bring. Examples included more energy, feeling better about yourself in general, self-confidence, and a greater sense of clarity. Every single one of them turned out to be true. In fact, the martial arts are the single greatest workout available second only to swimming due to the complete usage of body, the necessary coordination, and the explosive movement necessary to be truly effective. The mental benefits are the ones that always surprise me though. After a really good workout (I had a two hour one tonight) I'm usually pretty deep in my head.

Sometimes I really enjoy these reflective states and other times not so much. Tonight is one of those not-so-much cases. After a while of mulling things over I feel as emotionally and mentally depleted as I do physically. The expression to explain this is "fatigue the body to strengthen the mind." Unfortunately, the process of mind-strengthening is often a tiring one.

Tonight I've been reflecting on various doubts in my life. Maybe calling them doubts is inaccurate, more of uncertainties. None of them in particular, I just sort of let them bubble up to the surface and address them as they come to me.

Honestly, this is exactly the kind of mood I'm not supposed to be in by myself. Sometimes I feel like my poor mind is much to fragile to be wandering out there by itself without a chaperone.

Nothing gives me more to think about than relationships. I also want to clarify that I don't mean that in a negative sense. Even thinking about plenty of good things can be mentally fatiguing. My sub-conscience mind has ways of telling me that I'm making progress in life and that I should always address potential pitfalls early on before they enter my waking reality.

No one ever falls in love enough times to get good at it. So everyday we just have to hold our head high and take an emotional leap of faith that the people we love and trust will be there to catch us. Especially when we need it the most.

Either way, I'm looking forward to a good hug tomorrow.