Monday, April 24, 2006
Smells no amount of cleaning will ever get rid of
I'm told that the human sense of smell has evolved along a careful path to detect various smells. The most readily available example of this is necrosis. We have hard-wired legitimate sensors built into our bodies that allow us to recognize the literally unmistakable reek of death. I would like to extend this through the following construction:
Lemma 1) The body is capable of detecting specific smells linked to various semantic concepts and memories.
Proof of Lemma 1) Lemma 1 clearly stands on its own. QED.
Theorem 1) Using lemma 1: The human body has rapidly evolved in the last several hundred years to detect the stench of mediocrity.
Proof of Theorem 1) You will see the proof follows easily. Anyone who has walked into a Walmart, read freshman English papers, or listened to an ASU sorority girl's iPod knows this is true. The mediocrity is pervasive and ubiquitous. Thus, the stench of mediocrity is detectable. QED.
Now, by utilizing Theorem 1 I would like to extend my framework with Lemma 2 which will lead into Theorem 2.
Lemma 2) Middle managers are mediocre.
Proof of Lemma 2) There are no famous middle managers, and no middle managers have ever been heroes. Ever. QED.
Theorem 2) If the stench of mediocrity is detectable, then the stench of middle-management is detectable.
Proof of Theorem 2) Clearly if we can smell sub-par results and the stagnant odor of congealed dreams then by extension of lemma 2 we can arrive at middle management level stink. We must also demonstrate that the contrapositive is true. If we cannot detect middle management by smell, then we cannot smell mediocrity. This can be done through a proof by contradiction. Let us assume that there exists a middle manager somewhere who does not carry the funk of an MBA. Furthermore, let us assume this middle manager accomplishes his goals and is respected by his employees. By definition, this individual is not a middle manager, ergo we must be able to smell the 'average' if it is present. QED.
I feel it would be an excellent course for future research to see if these results extend to interns, college students, and whether or not there are subtle differences in the middle management group itself. It is hypothesized that various subgroups of middle managers are identifiable such as the ever frequent genus of "vicariously lives through his children," and "unjustifiably rabid female wench."
Works Cited:
[1] The world around me.
Lemma 1) The body is capable of detecting specific smells linked to various semantic concepts and memories.
Proof of Lemma 1) Lemma 1 clearly stands on its own. QED.
Theorem 1) Using lemma 1: The human body has rapidly evolved in the last several hundred years to detect the stench of mediocrity.
Proof of Theorem 1) You will see the proof follows easily. Anyone who has walked into a Walmart, read freshman English papers, or listened to an ASU sorority girl's iPod knows this is true. The mediocrity is pervasive and ubiquitous. Thus, the stench of mediocrity is detectable. QED.
Now, by utilizing Theorem 1 I would like to extend my framework with Lemma 2 which will lead into Theorem 2.
Lemma 2) Middle managers are mediocre.
Proof of Lemma 2) There are no famous middle managers, and no middle managers have ever been heroes. Ever. QED.
Theorem 2) If the stench of mediocrity is detectable, then the stench of middle-management is detectable.
Proof of Theorem 2) Clearly if we can smell sub-par results and the stagnant odor of congealed dreams then by extension of lemma 2 we can arrive at middle management level stink. We must also demonstrate that the contrapositive is true. If we cannot detect middle management by smell, then we cannot smell mediocrity. This can be done through a proof by contradiction. Let us assume that there exists a middle manager somewhere who does not carry the funk of an MBA. Furthermore, let us assume this middle manager accomplishes his goals and is respected by his employees. By definition, this individual is not a middle manager, ergo we must be able to smell the 'average' if it is present. QED.
I feel it would be an excellent course for future research to see if these results extend to interns, college students, and whether or not there are subtle differences in the middle management group itself. It is hypothesized that various subgroups of middle managers are identifiable such as the ever frequent genus of "vicariously lives through his children," and "unjustifiably rabid female wench."
Works Cited:
[1] The world around me.
# posted by Chris/Stewy @ Monday, April 24, 2006 
